How would Home Alone look in the Covid age? Illustrations by Matthew Brazier
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Is it really Christmas if you haven’t watched Home Alone at least twice? The iconic festive flick and its sequel are favourites among critics and will be on many of our watchlists.
Now, the pandemic means it will be a Christmas like no other, with many of us likely to be ‘home alone’ after new Government rules and restrictions.
But what can our favourite festive films teach us about our new reality? Recently, we reimaged weepy classic Brief Encounter in the time of Covid. In the second of our (short) series, we’ve given Home Alone an update.
Here are the lessons we can learn about being home alone 30 years after Kevin McCallister was abandoned.
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Limit numbers
This Christmas won’t see large scale gatherings so the 15 members of the McCallister family – or any extended family – should celebrate separately.
Don’t go abroad for Christmas
Most countries insist on tests and quarantines so it’s best not to travel, which at least means no child is left behind.
Shop local
When stocking up on essentials, shop alone when possible (but don’t steal any toothbrushes).
Home delivery
Get food delivered. Pay online when possible, but if paying in cash don’t miss the opportunity to tell the delivery person to “keep the change ya filthy animal”.
Throw a pretend party
Dig out old shop dummies and Michael Jordan cut-outs you have hanging around and pretend you still have a social life.
Meet through windows
If you pay a visit to a neighbour, be like Harry here and do it from the safety of the other side of a window. Just don’t stare creepily at strangers you plan to burgle.
Tidy up after yourself
Most household accidents are caused by objects not tidied away properly (micr machines, irons, glass baubles, feathers, paint cans, etc).
Dress accordingly
Though it’s tempting to wear pyjamas all day, it does pay to put on proper clothing, especially if there are random nails sticking out of the stairs.
Look after your pets and they’ll look after you
Especially if it’s a tarantula and you need to fight off burglars.
Make friends with your neighbours
Be like Old Man Marley and keep a look-out for the vulnerable and at-risk in your community (for example little boys about to get their fingers bitten off by Joe Pesci).
Remember the important things in life
Some of us may enjoy solitude, but at this time of year, it’s good to be close to loved ones. Let’s hope we won’t have to spend Christmas home alone, but if we do, remember little Kevin didn’t just survive, he thrived.
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