MK: Well the pun was a good one and we’ve never knowingly under-egged a joke. People think U certificates have to be children’s movies but 2001: A Space Odyssey was famously a U. The BBFC’s definition of the U certificate is, containing no material likely to harm or offend.
SM: Also, there’s a great discipline in making something for everybody.
With everyone carrying a smartphone, this is the first time in history when everyone could make a film if they wanted to. Has that democratised the art form?
SM: Everybody has the tools. We couldn’t have done this 10 years ago. It’s never been possible to say to everybody, make a movie.
MK: It’s removed the obstacle of having to have huge financial backing. Anybody could sit down and write a short story, a poem or a song. Nowadays anybody can make a short film. It doesn’t mean those stories or poems or songs will be any good but people have the possibility to do it.
Has the film industry benefitted as a result?
SM: If everybody can play sport we’ll end up fitter. If everybody can make a movie someone will emerge as a great talent.
Why do more film critics not have a go at making their own films?
MK: It’s a terrible mistake to imagine that because you enjoy watching films you would enjoy or know about making them. The worst film I’ve seen I couldn’t have made. I can guarantee you I will never make a film and the world will be better for that.
Not even a two minute short in order to enter Well Done U?
MK: I think I would be ruled out on the basis of being related to me.
Is it possible to watch a film without thinking about it critically? Does that not suck some of the enjoyment out of it?
SM: Mark is the critic and I’m not. If you’re a critic my guess is you’re always analysing. The equivalent for me is that I can’t listen to the radio without analysing it – music choice, the length of an interview… So that is spoiled.
MK: When you listen to a record do you listen with a critical ear?
SM: If I’m at work then it’s a piece of work.
MK: But I’ve gotten into your car – on the rare occasion you’ve given me a lift – and you put on a CD on and say listen to this it’s great. That’s you enjoying the music because you like the song.
SM: Sure, but you wouldn’t play it on Radio 2 because it’s a little bit too 6 Music or Radio 1 or it’s Mozart…
MK: I don’t think there’s any difference between watching a film and watching a film as a critic. Plus, everyone’s a critic. Everyone comes out afterwards and asks, what did you think of that?
But as a professional critic does that way of thinking extend beyond films? Are you always reviewing holidays, bus drivers and so on?
MK: The problem with criticism is that it sounds like criticising. Criticism is reacting to something and responding to it.
Magazines too? How would you review The Big Issue?
MK: I think Edward Lawrenson is one of the finest film writers writing at the moment and I’m a huge fan. Simon?
SM: I agree with Mark on that.
For details about how to enter Well Done U visit bbc.co.uk/welldoneu. The closing date for entries is August 28 2015 at 6pm