‘The pain was too much’: Black woman says she almost died in childbirth due to ‘racial prejudices’
As shocking statistics show that black women are more likely to die in pregnancy and childbirth, one woman shares her experience of feeling like her pain was dismissed
Tessa is now a mum of three children and based in London. Image: Supplied
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Tessa thought she was going to die when giving birth to her son. It happened quickly. She screamed out in pain but was hushed by midwives. She pushed the baby out herself without anyone but her husband by her side, tearing through her body and losing blood.
“It was honestly complete fear,” the 36-year-old recalls. “My only thought was that I didn’t think we were going to make it. I just recall expressing to the midwives that this pain is too much for me to bear. I was in extreme pain. It accelerated so quickly.
“I didn’t know it was the end of the labour. I felt like this was the beginning and I thought if I had to go on any longer trying to get this baby out, I was not going to survive it.”
Tessa believes her pain was dismissed because of racial prejudices. Black women are nearly four times more likely to die during pregnancy, childbirth and six weeks after birth in the UK, according to official maternal mortality rates.
Clotilde Rebecca Abe, co-founder of grassroots organisation Five X More which is on a mission to change Black maternal health outcomes in the UK, said: “This a devastating figure, but just five years ago, this number was even higher. There are still too many Black women experiencing traumatic births, and sometimes heartbreaking birth outcomes.
Tessa was induced at 39 weeks when her son was born five years ago. The labour progressed very quickly and she gave birth within an hour. She repeatedly told her midwives that it was moving faster than she had expected and it was hurting deeply. She says she was only offered paracetamol.
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“They were not listening to me,” she says. “They were saying: ‘You still have some time left. We’re going to go around and check on everyone else.’ I was about 4cm dilated. Within a few minutes, I started screaming because the pain was so intense. I just looked at my husband and I was like: ‘I literally don’t know if I can continue with this.’ The other midwife came over to me and asked me to be quiet. ‘Can you stop shouting?’”
Tessa was in triage at this point. She had not even made it into the labour ward at the Royal London Hospital yet.
“She asked me to stop screaming because there were women in the waiting room and I was scaring them,” Tessa recalls. “I was in so much pain I didn’t care. The midwife said she was going to go and get a room ready. The other one walked across the other side of the room. I just held on to my husband and screamed and I pushed my son out myself. The midwife ran over. She was in shock.
“The baby was fine. The baby was safe. I didn’t feel right. They whispered to each other and pressed the emergency alarm. A lot of people came running into the room. Everyone was saying there was a tear. I lost a lot of blood. There was no reassurance. No one told me that it was going to be OK. I didn’t know what was going on. I just thought I’m gonna die.”
Tessa was taken to another room to have stitches, and she was hooked up to a catheter and a drip. She claims she was left unattended for hours, from around 1pm until the night shift, except for the odd person coming in to offer them food.
Tessa had a wonderful experience when giving birth to her baby daughter recently. Image: Supplied
“I was just given a tonne of medication with no other explanation to it,” Tessa says. “We came home on the Saturday and midwives normally attend the next day. No one came. I had to call them and tell them that no one’s come to check on us. I was someone who had lost a lot of blood. I was just told to take iron tablets. I was basically unwell for four months after.”
Tessa believes there were racial injustices at play. “Most of my midwives were Black women,” she says. “But it’s almost like a slave mentality, like a Black woman is strong. You’re a Black woman, you can handle it, your body is strong. You’re made for this. No, my body’s not. If I feel pain, I feel pain. We don’t have to pander it down like I can handle it. I clearly couldn’t. And I clearly expressed that. I was told that it was all in my head.”
A Barts Health NHS trust spokesperson said: “We are sorry to hear that Tessa was unhappy with her experience giving birth at the Royal London Hospital. We encourage parents who have had a traumatic birth or who have complaints about their care to use our birth reflections services, we can also refer patients to birth trauma services for more specialist care.”
Tessa has been supported by Five X More, who raise awareness about the disparities in Black maternal health, advocate for change, and educate Black mothers on their maternity rights so they can advocate for themselves and get the right support when they are at their most vulnerable.
Tessa’s experience put her off having another child until very recently. Her son is now five and has an autism diagnosis, and she still has to fight to have her voice heard and advocate for him, but the birth of her youngest daughter six weeks ago was enormously positive. She was reassured throughout the whole process that this would not be allowed to happen again.
“There just needs to be care,” she says. “That’s it. Just care, consistency, continuity of care, and for us to be treated like any other individual.”
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