I’ve been a carer for my mum since I was eight. This is what I wish people knew about kids like me

There are an estimated 700,000 young carers in the UK; people who are under 18 who help look after someone in their family, or a friend, who are ill. Oliver Davis, aged 14, from Eastbourne cares for his mum Wendy, who lives with significant cardiac issues and the effects of a stroke.

In the morning, I usually wake up before my mum, this gives me time to get ready for the day myself before my caring responsibilities start. I have been a young carer since I was eight-years-old, however my responsibilities have grown in this time. I feel good about caring when my mum’s health is stable, but on the other hand, when she is really ill, I wonder why this all had to happen to me and my mum.  

Before school I make breakfast for me and my mum, make sure she is ready for the day and do any other jobs around the house, like doing the washing up or putting clothes in the washing machine. We always make time to chat over breakfast. 

I walk to and from school every day, which is great for my mental health. Lots of the time caring and the stress of caring can impact my learning at school, and I know this is the case for lots of young carers across the country. 

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When I am at school my enjoyment of the day depends on how my mum is with her health, sometimes school is a form of escapism and other times it is a day full of stress. This is because the thought of knowing that my mum could be in pain and I can’t support her is overwhelming. 

When I get home, I immediately check up on my mum to see if she is OK, then I will complete any jobs, I believe homework is important but making my mum comfortable and OK is more important.   

When it’s time for dinner I will usually cook with my mum as I enjoy cooking. My favourite meal to cook is risotto, at Christmas I put pigs in blankets on my risotto. 

In my free time I am an air cadet, a young leader for scouts and a member of my local rowing club. I also like making and painting model planes and Warhammer. I try and do as much as I can with my time because I value it so much. I also enjoy spending time with my mum – this is because when you care for someone it strengthens your bond with the person.

I would like more people to realise that young carers aren’t just children who do a few jobs around the house. Young carers are a huge group of unnoticed and underappreciated young people who all bear the weight of their caring roles, and I think that they do deserve recognition, more support, more appreciation and most importantly a voice. 

Carers Trust and my local carers centre Care for the Carers have empowered me to use my experience as to make a difference to other young carers locally and nationally. I’ve been working with my school to ensure we have a carers champion and have been lucky enough to attend parliament with the Carers Trust to help politicians understand what carers need to ensure they can balance caring and getting a good education. 

There are local carer organisations around the country who provide help and support for carers of all ages. You can find your nearest one through Carers Trust by typing in your postcode.

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