‘I came here for safety and I’ve come into danger’: The grim reality of life in asylum hotels for women

Soon after she arrived in an asylum hotel in Ashford in 2022, Mercy, an asylum seeker who fled gender-based violence in South Africa, heard of a hotel security worker who routinely asked women to go out on dates. 

“When he came on to me, I warned him and told him never to ask me again,” the woman, in her early 40s, told Big Issue. 

A 27-year-old young woman also seeking asylum was also approached by the man, but in addition to asking her out, he grabbed her butt. When she moved his hand away, he threatened to get her thrown out of the hotel and hurled expletives at her. 

The women reported what happened to the Home Office, but nothing was done. 

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Five months after her arrival, Mercy – whose name has been changed to protect her identity – went to visit a family member for a few days, having gotten permission from the hotel. 

When she arrived back, she was told she’d been evicted, and had to sleep on the streets for a night until her next accommodation was sorted.

In the next hotel, in Exeter, Mercy met a manager at the hotel who often talked to her. He started asking her to be in a relationship with him, explicating stating he wanted to have an affair with her. 

“’Please, I’m not interested’ – I would tell him,” Mercy said. 

The man started staying in the room next to hers and would frequently knock on the door, refusing to accept her firm answer of ‘no’. 

“I felt so sick and retraumatised,” she said, describing how she was scared of running into him in the lift or hallway. “I started sleeping in my friend’s room. I was afraid he would attack me.”

Coercion and control in asylum hotel accommodation

Mercy’s story is not unique, as evidenced in a new report from the charity Women for Refugee Women that surveyed 63 asylum-seeking women in hotels about their experiences. The report found that several other women had been subjected to humiliating, degrading and dehumanising behaviour by hotel staff. 

“We heard multiple reports of staff letting themselves into women’s rooms immediately after knocking, not giving women enough time to get out of bed or to cover up,” Andrea Vukovic, deputy director at Women for Refugee Women told Big Issue. “We heard reports of sexual harassment that left women feeling unsafe and confined to their rooms.”

But like Mercy, many of the women in the report were afraid to report the harassment to the Home Office or staff in case of possible consequences. 

“We found a number of cases where women received warnings or threats if they did not comply with the restrictions placed on them,” Vukovic said. “The threat of eviction was commonly used to ensure compliance. These kinds of threats replicate the dynamics of an abusive relationship, as fear and intimidation are deployed to coerce and control women’s behaviour.”

But it’s more widespread than just sexual harassment, according to the report. Women surveyed spoke of being extremely restricted in their movements, amounting to a constant feeling of being monitored – from requirements to sign-in and sign-out and morning ‘roll calls’, to visitor bans and enforced isolation given limited financial means.

“All of these practices mirror the tactics and techniques of ‘coercive control’,” said Vukovic. 

Women also talked about restricted access to basic necessities like period products and nappies. 

Madiha, her husband and two-year-old child were placed in a hotel after claiming asylum in the UK after enduring political persecution in a West Asian country. 

At the time, her child was still in nappies but soon needed to be toilet trained. Not able to afford nappies while receiving a little over £22 for the family each week, Madiha, whose name has also been changed, asked the hotel staff for nappies, which they were expected to provide. 

“They said they didn’t know anything about it, and it wasn’t their responsibility,” the 32-year-old told Big Issue. 

Insisting they needed to provide the nappies, they caved and would give her two nappies at a time, forcing her to constantly be back and forth to the desk. 

“I felt shame,” she said. 

When her son turned three, she knew she needed to start toilet training. When her son soiled the bed, she asked for a new sheet, but was told she could only have new sheets once a week. When she asked to use the laundry room to clean his dirtied clothes, they declined her request, saying she could only clean clothes once a week. 

“I just had to wash them in the sink and bath,” she said, describing how sores developed on her hands from all the washing. 

With no window in their room, she had to dry everything on the air conditioning machine. 

“I felt bad in the hotel,” she said. “You’re hoping every day. But by the end of the day, there’s nothing. That feeling is really terrible.”

Vukovic said this inability to wash clothing and bedding, particularly those with children or those menstruating, can contribute to feelings of hopelessness.

“It’s another layer of control women are subjected to in hotel accommodation,” she said. 

‘Extremely damaging mental health impacts‘

The impact of these conditions, among others, is deteriorating mental health of women in hotels. 

Nine out of 10 of women surveyed in the report said living in a hotel made them anxious or depressed. 46% of the women said it made them suicidal. 

“There is a multiplicity of factors that contribute to the decline of women’s mental health in hotels,” Vukovic said. 

She said a complete lack of independency and agency – the inability to choose what they eat, when they come and go, who they see, or even what they can buy – is one factor. 

“Then there is the degrading and dehumanising behaviour that many women are subjected to in hotels, which often compounds the trauma they are already carrying with them,” she continued. “Finally, there is the hopelessness that three quarters of women in hotels reported. Women often wait months and even years for a decision on their asylum claim – so maintaining any level of hope when you’re living in a really controlled and restrictive environment with no end in sight is all but impossible.”

The Home Office told the Big Issue it would “urgently investigate” the reports given by Mercy and Madiha. “The Home Office takes any allegation of wrongdoing or criminality by staff in asylum accommodation very seriously,” a spokesperson said.

“The health and safety of those we support and accommodate is our priority. All incidents of inappropriate staff behaviour at our accommodation sites are thoroughly investigated and we expect suppliers to take rapid action when they fall by our standards.”

With new Labour government in place, Vukovic is hopeful for change as it has already been promised that survivors of gender-based violence will be prioritised and given the support they need. 

“Survivors who are seeking asylum in the UK need to be a part of this promise,” she said. “Otherwise, a two-tier approach will develop with women seeking asylum, often from racialised groups, being left behind.”

She also, along with several charities supporting women in asylum seeker hotels, would urge the discontinuation of the use of hotels. 

“In the meantime, and for as long as hotels are in use, the government needs to take immediate action to mitigate the harms of hotel accommodation,” she concluded. “From cracking down on unnecessary restrictive practices to increasing the level of financial support provided to women in hotels.”

Mercy was later evicted from the second hotel after the manager who had harassed her was supposedly fired. She is now sofa surfing and hoping the Home Office will soon provide her with housing. 

“I feel sick – physically and mentally,” she said. “I came here for safety and I have come into danger.”

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