I’m in temporary accommodation this Christmas. Growing up in care makes it hard to find a home

Being in care is all I can remember – since I was taken into the care system at two years old, I’ve experienced lots of different types of placement including living with foster families, residential care and a therapeutic placement. I’ve been moved around so many times over the past two decades that I’ve lost count.

Unfortunately this thread of instability has continued into my adulthood. In the five years since I turned 18 and became a ‘care leaver’, I’ve been moved a further five times and am currently living in temporary accommodation. It’s hard to feel settled or truly make anywhere my home.

There have been times when there’s a knock at my door and I’ve been scared to answer in case it’s news that I’ll be moved again. I’ve experienced poor mental health for years and this situation can make things so much worse.

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For care leavers like me, turning 18 feels like being thrown in the deep end. We are expected to set up and look after a new home on our own. There were many practical things I just didn’t know how to do without anyone to show me.

It’s also very difficult financially. Care leavers are entitled to a grant from their council called a Setting Up Home Allowance (SUHA) and in 2023, the government changed the minimum amount for the allowance from £2,000 to £3,000.

But recent research by the charity Coram Voice found that one in 10 councils are not paying the full £3,000, and a lack of clear national guidelines has led to huge variation across the country in how the SUHA is used, who is eligible and how much is paid. I only received £2,000 and had to spend some of the allowance on the cost of moving house and essential repairs which should not have been deducted from the SUHA – it is meant to be for furniture and appliances.

I also had very little say on what the SUHA could be spent on so I ended up with unsuitable items, things I didn’t really need or want, or items that were poor quality and broke soon after I got them and had to be replaced, incurring further costs. It’s hard when you feel that choice is taken away from you – I believe I have a right to live my life and be like other people my age. I shouldn’t have to give up what’s important to me.

Moving around so much through my life means it’s been hard to build a support network and I really feel it more at this time of year. Everywhere you look you are faced with the excitement of Christmas and the message of it being a time for family and friends. It can feel very isolating as a care leaver. I have a few friends but they will be with their families on the day. It’s also harder for me to reach the leaving care team at my council if there is anything I need due to the Christmas shutdown period.

It’s clear that the care system needs a shake-up. There needs to be a much better understanding around mental health, the importance of strong relationships and accessing support, and a focus on stability and permanent homes. And also understanding children and young people’s needs – and that we’re all different.

I’m now on a waiting list to be moved into permanent council housing and thankfully it’s been agreed that I can stay in the same area as I’m finally starting to feel settled here. I’ve got a dog who I adore – he’s been my saving grace and this will be our second Christmas together. I go regularly to a local walking group and I’ve met other people with dogs nearby.

I’m passionate about doing what I can do to make a difference to improve care for others. That’s why I decided to join Coram Voice’s youth advisory board, to use my voice and experience to help influence the future of children’s services. I’ve also recently helped to develop the charity’s ‘Grand Campaign’, highlighting my own experiences around the SUHA and campaigning for every council to offer at least £3,000 to every care leaver, clearer guidelines and more freedom for care leavers to spend the money as they wish.

Longer-term, I would love to pursue a career as an advocate or social worker and I’ve started an online social work course, so in the future I can hopefully help other young people to have a more positive experience in care. I can’t change what has happened to me but I feel determined I can make change for other young people.

This Christmas, Coram is raising funds to support young people leaving the care system. Find out more.

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