Father’s Day: Why it’s time to start talking about single dads

When we talk about single parents, the conversation is often centred on mums. While single mums face huge challenges, single dads do too.

According to the Office for National Statistics, around 15% of single-parent households in the UK are headed by dads. That’s thousands of men raising children alone, but they’re barely part of the public conversation.

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And it’s not just that their stories are missing. Many of them are missing out on vital support.

The advice service Money Wellness helps people navigate debt and money worries. Last year, just one in 10 of the single parents who came to them for help were dads.

This begs the question – are single dads quietly managing just fine, or is something else at play?

What the data says about single dads

The idea that dads are more financially stable just doesn’t hold up when we look at the data. In fact, many single dads are under more pressure than people realise.

Here’s what Money Wellness is seeing:

• Single dads are more likely to carry higher levels of debt – £17,000 on average, compared to £13,000 for single mums.
• They’re more likely to be self-employed, with all the stress that comes with that (13% vs. 4%).
• Their incomes are lower. In one-child households, single dads take home £130 less per month than single mums, despite having just £40 fewer costs.
• Fewer claim benefits – only 85% of the dads Money Wellness helped were receiving benefits, compared to 99% of single mums.
• They’re also less likely to disclose vulnerabilities, such as mental health struggles (59% vs. 66%).

In reality, many single dads are facing a financial cliff edge. But they’re not asking for help, possibly because they don’t know where to turn, or because they feel they shouldn’t need to.

Why dads don’t always reach out

To understand more, Money Wellness spoke to Luke Smyth, a co-ordinator at Dad Matters, a nationwide project supporting new dads through the challenges of early parenthood and beyond.

“I think a lot of it comes down to stigma, dads don’t want to be seen as struggling and needing support,” he said.

Luke describes dads who tend to bottle up their worries. For many, talking about finances, mental health, or even fatherhood itself feels like breaking a taboo. And it’s not just a personal issue, it’s systemic.

Dad Matters provides training and one-to-one support to maternity staff, health visitors and other professionals who work with fathers during the perinatal period. Their goal is to help services better engage with dads and improve their experiences.

When professionals are asked whether a dad is a primary or secondary parent, many say they are secondary.

“Why aren’t dads being considered co-primary?” asks Luke. “It can make them feel excluded from the start.”

Falling through the gaps

It’s not just about attitudes. It’s also about access. Britain’s safety nets aren’t always designed with dads in mind. If you’re a single father trying to hold things together, working long hours, paying child maintenance and covering the cost of raising a child, there’s very little room to breathe.

Child maintenance is a key pressure point, Luke says.

“Mums are more likely to get child maintenance than dads,” he explains. Circumstances can shift quickly after the initial assessment, but in Luke’s experience, many fathers would ratherfall into arrears rather than request a reassessment.

Luke believes the system should routinely review payments to reduce unnecessary barriersand prevent dads from slipping further behind.

There’s also the issue of paternity leave. “Most dads get two weeks, if they’re eligible,” says Luke. “If you’re self-employed, you might get nothing. Compare that to Norway, where dads get over 20 weeks.

“We need to look to Scandinavia, because Scandinavia seems to have got it right.”

Luke knows the toll the paternity system can take firsthand. When his own son was born prematurely, he had no choice but to return to work immediately, ironically leaving him caring for other people’s children while missing the chance to be there for his own.

In addition to having limited paternity rights, separated dads often face even higher costs. They frequently have to buy duplicates of everything – from cots, prams, car seats and clothes – to care for their child. Yet despite this, Luke claims they’re often overlooked when it comes to housing and family support.

Building a fairer system

This is where Dad Matters comes in. Since launching in 2017, they’ve helped thousands of dads, offering everything from in-hospital support and free workshops to informal walks where men can talk, let off steam, or just have a laugh.

“Sometimes it’s just about chatting about football,” Luke says, adding that once dad opens up about one thing, it often leads to him talking about other things he’s been bottling up.

Dad Matters also offers targeted help for dads who’ve experienced loss or trauma and those from underrepresented communities.

But as Luke points out, such projects can only go so far without broader policy change.

“It’s a matter of policy,” he says. “There needs to be a want to make things more equal for both parents, but at the moment that will just isn’t there.”

If you’re a dad struggling with any of the issues raised, or know someone who is, reach out to Dad Matters.

Gabrielle Pickard Whitehead is lead financial content writer at Money Wellness.

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