I live with regret that I did not take my health seriously. A stroke changed everything

The morning of 11 December 2024 started much like any other. I had woken up on the sofa in the living room of our tiny two-bedroom flat at 7.30am, having slept there because I had been suffering with an aura migraine for the past two days. Today was day three. I realised I would need to order my middle daughter a school dinner for that day as my headache had left me unable to do my usual weekly shop.

I took my phone with me to the bathroom, sat down, and opened the school app. Without any warning, a sudden ripple made its way up my spine and shuddered through my skull. A moment may have passed – I can’t be sure – but the next thing I remember is seeing my phone on the floor by my feet. I hadn’t realised I had dropped my phone. I reached down with my left hand and attempted to pick it up with my left hand. But instead, it hung limply by my side refusing to respond to the signals my brain was giving it. I knew at that point that something was very, very wrong.

My story starts back in 2021, when I was diagnosed with gestational hypertension during my pregnancy with my third child, Oscar. I was a little older for this pregnancy and a little heavier, but I didn’t anticipate it being any harder than my previous two. I battled to keep my blood pressure within normal levels for the duration of my pregnancy and delivered Oscar on the 4 January 2022 by elective caesarean section.

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I continued taking my blood pressure medication as prescribed for approximately a month before I began questioning its benefits and ultimately decided I would lower my blood pressure by losing weight. But in the few years leading up to my stroke I was floored by trauma after trauma. My partner lost his job. I lost a friend to suicide. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and my mum’s Parkinson’s disease continued to progress.

We were living in a tiny two-bedroom council flat which was riddled with severe damp and mould – despite our pleas to the council to be moved. I became helplessly depressed. I found myself drinking more and more to cope. I hardly slept. I never wore make-up and didn’t cut my hair for three years. I was drowning, in every sense of the word.

When I realised my arm wasn’t working that morning, it hit me. I was having a stroke. I knew the risks that heavy drinking, obesity and high blood pressure presented to me, but I never envisioned it catching up with me this quickly. I was just 39. I staggered my way into my bedroom and woke my partner. It was then I discovered my face had dropped and my speech was slurred. Realising the seriousness of the situation, we got to hospital and I was immediately taken for a CT scan.

The scan could not find any evidence of a brain bleed or a blood clot, so I was given 900mg of liquid aspirin and admitted to the stroke ward as a precaution. Although none of the professionals I saw thought it, I was now a stroke survivor – one of the 240 people in the UK who claim that status every day. An MRI scan the next day confirmed the worst – that I had two infarcts on the right side on my brain – and I would have to live with the lifelong implications of this. I spent a week in hospital and further testing later revealed I also had a Patent Foramen Ovale (PFO), which is a hole in the heart. I now know that is also a risk factor of stroke. 

Had I known the risks associated with high blood pressure, I might have made better choices and not stopped taking my medication. I now know that nine out of 10 strokes are preventable, through lifestyle choices such as not drinking, not smoking, getting regular exercise and eating well. I will always live with the regret that I did not take my health more seriously, and that I almost left my children without a mother – this thought will haunt me forever.

I am fortunate that my stroke did not leave me with any lasting impact other than some short-term memory issues. But it did make me sit up and recognise that my health needed to improve if I was going to be around to see my children grow up. I am now approaching 400 days of sobriety, and I am slowly but surely losing weight.

My blood pressure is now controlled by medication, and I am being monitored for the hole in my heart that may require surgery in the future. Most importantly, my whole perspective on life has changed. I am having therapy for my trauma and I can feel myself coming alive again. We have finally been awarded a suitable property, and we have just celebrated our first Christmas in our own house.

Having a stroke at 39 taught me not to take my health for granted. I urge anyone reading this to please check their blood pressure. It doesn’t take long, it doesn’t hurt and it could be the difference between life and death. I never dreamed this would happen to me, but ultimately, I am grateful for my life. The future is bright.

Over 85,000 people survive a stroke every year in the UK, but surviving a stroke is just the start of a long and gruelling recovery journey. Mums, dads, grandparents, young people, even children – anyone can have a stroke, and its impact is traumatic.  Brain damage, caused by a stroke, can leave survivors unable to move, see, speak, or even swallow.  

The Stroke Association is the leading charity in the UK providing life-long support for all stroke survivors and their families. It provides tailored support to tens of thousands of stroke survivors each year, funds vital scientific research, and campaigns to secure the best care for everyone affected by stroke. Anyone affected by stroke can visit stroke.org.uk for more information.

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