My name is Jonathan Whitmer, but more commonly known as Kxllswxtch. My music is usually categorised as very aggressive rap or melancholic singing, which is a reflection of all the violence and abandonment I felt as an adolescent. Growing up in an unsteady environment, I lived in Anaheim but also lived in cities around southern California such as Buena Park and Cypress.
My parents got divorced when I was six years old, after physically and verbally fighting from as far back that I could remember. For six years, my two sisters and I lived with our mom until I reached the age of 12. The trajectory of our family took a turn when she faced legal troubles – met with a restraining order imposed by court which ultimately led to our separation. With the idea of foster care looming, as staying with her became impossible and our dad was in and out of jail, fortunately, we found a lifeline in the form of our grandparents who took us in.
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After I moved in with my grandparents, I used a variety of things to cope with my depression and anger such as violence, drugs and music. I began to stay away from home as much as possible, resulting in me staying over at friends houses, sleeping at parks and breaking into abandoned houses to sleep and hang because I didn’t want to go home.
I felt lost and uncomfortable in my own skin.
I started drinking, smoking and taking pills when I was 11 but when I started living with my Grandma at the age of 12 – everything got worse. I ended up getting in a lot of fights because of my temper and pent-up aggression which led me to get arrested and locked up for two months with house arrest and probation at the age of 15.
