In real life, men can be disappointing. When they’re not being unreliable, weird, boring or sexually deviant, they’re often busy not doing things. Like remembering birthdays, carrying out basic domestic tasks or texting you back.
Men in romcoms however, are a different breed, because they’re usually composites of what straight women are looking for. They’re always hotter, more vulnerable and of course, funnier than any man you’ve ever met in your life. Instead of whingeing about the thermostat or cracking their knuckles, they say exactly the right thing at the right time.
They can see through your bullshit to the Real You. They can cook and they always listen to every piffling little thing you say, while gazing at you in unbridled wonder. Oh, and also they can be masterful when required, which means making decisions when we can’t be arsed (very important, this one) and opening car doors for us (not compulsory, but always nice to have).
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Anyway, now I think I’ve finally found a template that all men can learn from: Noah, Adam Brody’s character in Nobody Wants This. Writer Erin Foster has created the ultimate romcom hero – so much so that boys should be shown it at school from the age of 15 onwards, with compulsory note taking and modules on how to kiss without impersonating Henry the Hoover.
Noah isn’t a Darcy-esque meany. He’s not emotionally avoidant and (yes, I know this is a bit fantastical) he is actually capable of admitting when he’s wrong. To put the icing on this considerably tempting cake, he’s also Seth from The OC, all grown up with a beard that doesn’t make you think of lumberjacks or guys who work in small plates restaurants.