This Remembrance Day, let us remember the LGBTQ+ veterans dismissed and imprisoned

At the European Court of Human Rights 25 years ago, LGBTQ+ veterans and Stonewall stood alone as they battled for the right to serve in our armed forces, which until then were protecting peace and freedoms denied their own.

A ban on homosexuality in the armed forces, which was only lifted in 2000, saw thousands in our community shunned – they were dismissed from their jobs, many faced homelessness or were imprisoned and some took their own lives.

In a remarkable moment last week our LGBTQ+ military charity Fighting With Pride sent an open letter to the prime minister calling for a better deal for those in our community who have served. We have been promised compensation, but it is not nearly enough after all we have faced.

• People were sacked and imprisoned for being gay in the armed forces. Now they are fighting for justice
• ‘My partner died of Aids and no one knew because it was illegal to be gay in the armed forces’
• ‘I was terrified I would be sent to prison for being gay in the armed forces. I had a mental health crisis’

Stonewall’s signature was joined this time by many of the largest UK military charities, not least the Royal British Legion, Help for Heroes, Combat Stress, Walking with the Wounded and Age UK. On the very long journey to be recognised, many thought that the warm welcome now offered to these veterans of operations like the Falklands War, Northern Ireland and Iraq, might never come, yet it has

In little more than a weeks time, LGBTQ+ veterans will step onto Whitehall for the third year running.  They will join all other veterans in the solemn act of remembrance for those lost in the defence of the United Kingdom and in the defence worldwide of those facing danger or oppression.

The division will be as smart and polished as all others and in their berets and bulled shoes. LGBTQ+ veterans will proudly welcome the opportunity to share with all others the most important day in the military calendar. But perhaps in this time of change, their pride extends a little further.  Most of these veterans believed these moments of inclusion would never come.

To many their assured place amongst the massed gathering of veterans is important recognition of their service, their lives and their sacrifice and a milestone on the journey home to their units.  These veterans have been washed of shame and today stand as tall as all others.  Many with quiet dignity will shed a tear for those who did live to experience these moments. 

It is truly heartwarming and in the finest traditions of the military family, that as LGBTQ+ veterans have stepped forward in their many hundreds, they have been warmly welcomed by military charities. 

These incredible charities at first faced a significant gap in their learning, but Fighting With Pride has been at hand lending our lived-experience of the impact of the ban. We have built confidence in the veterans and enabled the ‘warm welcome’ in the charities quietly and without judgement, but perhaps with a bit of cheery banter here and there! 

One family member who joined Fighting with Pride as we marched past the cenotaph last year was Jenny, the daughter of captain professor Sir Michael Howard.

I was honoured to meet Sir Michael with his partner of over 60 years in 2019.  He was humble in remembering that he was one of a very few WW2 holders of the Military Cross, awarded for his courage in Montecassino in 1943. 

He gave me a copy of a letter to be included in my anthology book Fighting With Pride which he had written in 1995 to the undersecretary of state for defence. The correspondence closed with a paragraph which was a reminder that this professor of modern history at Oxford was a man of letters.

“People should not be penalised or punished for what they are, but for what they do. Unless the armed forces recognise this, their practise will be in conflict with enduring ethical values for which this country is supposed to stand and has fought several wars in this century to uphold,” he wrote.

For decades, the laws of the armed forces trailed well behind the laws of the land and the human impact of the ban has been horrific. I shared my story with the Big Issue last year, of fearing I would be sent to prison for being gay and ultimately facing a mental health crisis.

But in many ways, I am one of the lucky ones. Many of those affected are no longer with us. Those who remain have been deeply moved to walk back into their units of the armed forces to received back the berets and medals taken from them. 

On Remembrance Sunday they will wear them with the quiet pride and dignity of all those who have worn the uniform. Of the many things we share as veterans, no act has has greater dignity or importance. 

And what might we hope for in parliament? In the week of remembrance the guns of Fighting With Pride’s campaign fall silent, but let me simply say that I hope that those who act in remembrance this week are themselves remembered for their own service in their own lifetimes.  

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