Why you should spare a thought for young trans people this Christmas

Trans people in the UK have had a hell of a year, and trans youth in particular have been stuck at the sharp end of culture war politics that harm us all. Our sense of community and love for each other is vital now more than ever, and I’m proud to have been supporting a project bringing a small glimmer of light amid the darkness.

Trans Secret Santa UK is a community project, run by my friends at Trans+ Solidarity Alliance, which has brought so many in our community together to show young trans people something vital: love and support exist, even when they come from afar. They have sent nearly 900 festive gift packages to trans youth who signed up this year, the largest demand yet for the team. When I volunteered for the project’s gift packing day recently, I felt something special at the heart of it – a powerful message of hope and joy.

And yet, this year, all our packing, wrapping and shipping has happened against the backdrop of 2025 – the worst time I can remember as a trans person in the UK. Devastating blows are being dealt to our ability to live our lives, with this government still deciding whether to enforce the exclusion of trans people from services and spaces for our lived gender.

Read more:

• There’s ‘awareness’ of trans people – but too often it’s the wrong kind
• A moment in a maths class, aged 14, gave me the courage to tell people I was trans
• I’m a trans care leaver. Finding love and acceptance as my true self was the best feeling in the world

Even proudly trans-inclusive organisations like Girlguiding have already begun capitulating, cutting off vital social belonging for trans youth. A few years ago this would have been unthinkable, and now it’s up for mainstream debate. The need our community has for support, solidarity, and allyship is more acute than ever. But above all, especially at Christmas, there is a real need for love.

When I was growing up, in the nineties and noughties, there was a real lack of trans representation and role models both in popular culture and in society at large. What glimpses of trans lives we saw were largely shaped by regressive tropes. I didn’t know that being trans, transitioning and living a full life of love and authenticity, was even an option available to me. Any connection to trans people living authentically as themselves felt like a slim crack letting in the light of hope, a glimpse of what life could be for me too.

I actually had a really positive upbringing, on Barry Island in South Wales, raised by two free-spirited and broad-minded eighties punks who didn’t try and put me in a box of what a girl or boy should be. With a liberal upbringing and open-minded education, I developed a certain strength and hope that I’ve carried my whole life. The first time I actually met another trans woman, the first time I really saw myself reflected in someone else, was truly life changing. If I’d encountered this kind of representation of authentic trans lives sooner, I’d have found the resonance with my true self much sooner and more easily.

Had I not benefited from this open upbringing, instilling values that made me who I am, and been deprived entirely of any idea of real trans lives – as sadly so many gender diverse youth are now experiencing due to our media and politics – the flame I carried within me would have been snuffed out. If people had told me at a young age how I was supposed to look and behave or who I had to be, I’d not now be a happy, healthy adult.

Things weren’t perfect when I was younger, with poor media representation and trans invisibility, but things now can only be described as worse. We are seeing trans people painted as a threat, transition as an undesirable outcome to be discouraged, and with extreme anti-trans politics forced onto all of us. But one lesson I have carried throughout my life, from my early years to now, is a certainty that things can, and will, get better. I still cling to this belief, even now, and taking part in things like Trans Secret Santa has helped keep my optimism alive. I want others to feel the same love, authenticity and allyship that made me who I am today – powerful, creative and unapologetic.

Today, in my role at Not a Phase, I am proud to oversee a vital national charity supporting between four and five thousand trans adults every single month with community, love and solidarity. Any opportunity to be around each other is always a source of laughter and joy for me, and mucking in with the not inconsiderable challenge of sending 896 presents to young trans people up and down the country has been particularly special. The love and allyship shown by every single volunteer, every single business, every single artist, who took part in this has been a really powerful message. We may be down, but we are not out.

My hope for the trans young people who receive this year’s Trans Secret Santa packages is that, by the time they reach my age, the current moral panic focussed on our community is a distant memory. I hope every single one of them is able to live a life of ambition and authenticity, unrestricted by the oppression of their identity, and knowing that they are supported, celebrated and loved. This Christmas, let’s all give the gift of that knowledge to all the trans people in our lives – even if we are waiting for others to catch up.

Trans Secret Santa UK is a community project, now in its third year. It is run by non-profit Trans+ Solidarity Alliance and counts Danielle St James among its volunteer elves. Danielle is a Welsh model, entrepreneur and campaigner who is chief executive of trans charity Not a Phase.

You can support the project, and Trans+ Solidarity Alliance’s campaigning work, here.

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