John Williams, Co-op, Killay, Swansea

Image: Juliette Pedram

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. When I was 14 I became anorexic. Looking back, the reason I started losing weight was because my mum had a brain tumour at the time. Everybody was worried about Mum and no one was really worried about me. They were looking after me – looking back I know that. But at the time it didn’t feel like that.

I went to college and I did catering. I became a chef. I became an alcoholic. I got through the alcoholism and I don’t want to go back there. I’d lose so much.

Something I’m proud of is stopping the alcohol. Because without that I wouldn’t be here talking. I’d be dead. Proud that I stopped, and that my parents had a peaceful end of their lives, not having to worry about me drinking. I hope that my story will help people understand that it doesn’t matter what background you have, there’s always something better.

But then when I was down in Weston, my eating disorder came back. It wasn’t anorexia this time, it was bulimia. That was always in the back of my mind. I’d try and think positive. I might have bad days. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Sometimes I don’t go out of the house, it’s so bad. But I know that it shall pass.

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It’s nice to know that there’s somebody at Big Issue watching over you and keeping you safe. I love selling the magazines. It gets me out of the house. I know I’ve got to sell some magazines to buy food or rent or whatever. But when I’m up there I like talking to the customers, getting to know them, getting to know their families. 

I’ve known one kid since she was born so she’s grown up seeing me. She’s three now and whenever she sees me she smiles. I’m always willing to talk and I’m always ready to sell magazines. Hopefully you might buy a magazine as well. 

With Big Issue, there are subscriptions where people can find your pitch online, and they can subscribe to you personally. I get a few. I don’t know how many but I know that I get some and the money goes straight into my bank account. 

Where do I advertise that? I tell people on my pitch they can do that. Or I advertise on LinkedIn a lot. I put a photograph, a bit about my day and then the link where you can subscribe. And then I’ll put it on Facebook or sometimes on Instagram. 

But it’s nice because sometimes I forget I’ve got subscriptions. And then I see a bonus in my bank account. I go, ‘Oh yeah!’ So it’s really good. It’s a different way for vendors to make money.

I think a few people subscribe after seeing me on LinkedIn. I don’t have anybody from Swansea on my account, they’re all London, America, Pakistan, Italy, Germany… all over the world! And some of them told me they subscribed. It’s nice that anybody can subscribe to you, no matter where they are in the world. 

I know some local people who subscribe too. I know one elderly lady, she used to buy from me but now she subscribes to me because she can’t walk about too much. I’m still in contact with them in a way. She’s still helping me out by subscribing.  

I know some misconceptions people have about vendors is we get the magazines for free. It’s not the case. We’ve got to buy it first. Like, at the moment the issue is £4, and we buy it for £2. Sometimes people also think you only sell the magazine to go buy drinks or to get drugs. It’s not the way. Most people I know at Big Issue they sell it to make ends meet. To pay bills or buy food. So to them, it’s a lifeline. 

Interview and photo: Juliette Pedram

Co-op Food, Gower Road, Killay, Swansea, UK