The boiling frog of domestic abuse – and why shame can’t breed where the light shines

A new series of short films exploring why people become homeless has been made by Cardboard Citizens, a charity that uses drama to transform the lives of those with lived experience of homelessness, in association with Black Apron Entertainment. Each film is written and performed by people who have experienced homelessness. This week, it’s Boiling Frogs written by Kayleigh Llewellyn and performed by Natasha Sparkes.

The boiling frog syndrome runs as follows: if you drop a frog in boiling water it’ll jump right out. But if you put it in tepid water and turn the heat up, it won’t notice it’s being boiled alive.

Screenwriter Kayleigh Llewellyn draws parallels between this and growing up in a household where domestic violence is a constant, escalating threat. Her short film Boiling Frogs is part of the More Than One Story series of monologues to show that homelessness has many roots and reasons.

“I have huge admiration for the work Cardboard Citizens do to break down the stigma and barriers that face those who’ve experienced homelessness,” Llewellyn says. “It’s something that has touched my own life, and I only wish I’d had a resource like this to turn to.”

Llewellyn is now one of the UK’s most celebrated TV writers, having worked on Killing Eve and winning Baftas for her BBC Three comedy drama In My Skin, based on her own experiences navigating sexuality and mental health.

In Boiling Frogs, the narrator played by Natasha Sparkes is perched on a stool, in the spotlight, as if performing standup. 

She remembers when she was 10. Wannabe by the Spice Girls had just been released: “A track that made me feel like Dorothy, sliding from black and white into technicolour…”

But at the same time, life was punctuated by moments of fear as the family would be forced to flee an abusive father in the middle of the night, ending up at relatives’ houses or bedsits. 

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After a violent rage, the narrator then remembers: “The silence of the car. Driving through dead 3am streets. Me and my sister in our nighties, our little thighs squashed together on the back seat, trembling in fear. 

“My heart breaking for the pink carpet and the posters that I will never see again. The place where the best days of my life held hands with the worst.” 

Llewellyn explains how what she went through helped her become fearless as an artist.

“It’s like living in opposition to the way I grew up, which was hide, feel ashamed, masked,” she says. 

“I called the show In My Skin because I was doing anything rather than live in my skin. It’s a lifelong process to realise the pain of living in shame and what it does. 

“I always say I had a stomach ache throughout my entire childhood, from the stress of lying, hiding. The only way I can write is if I feel it. I actually don’t know a different way to write other than to just rip your heart out and go, ‘Do you want that?’”

Llewellyn, who is currently writing a new series for Jodie Comer based on the novel Big Swiss by Jen Beagin, says she hopes Cardboard Citizens’ More Than One Story series will help people to feel less shame.

“I felt for so long that I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t,” she says. “And the moment I found the courage to say, this is what I’ve really been through, instantly all the people I thought I had to hide from started being like: me too, me too. 

“I realised I’d had this community all along I hadn’t been accessing because I was too busy lying. 

“So I hope that people watch this film and feel seen – and then feel courageous enough to share their own story. Shame can’t breed where the light shines.”

Cardboard Citizens introduced Natasha Sparkes

Natasha Sparkes is a poet, playwright, actress, lyricist and member of Cardboard Citizens, who has appeared in Silent Witness, Broadchurch and The Stranger. She is currently working on her debut solo show Le Starlet in collaboration with Clean Break Theatre Company.

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