Natalie Imbruglia: ‘Becoming a star is not going to feel the way you think it’s going to feel’

Natalie Imbruglia found fame in the early 90s, when she starred as Beth Brennan in the Australian soap opera Neighbours. In 1997, she released her debut single, Torn, which became a huge worldwide hit, reaching No 1 in Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Spain and Sweden and reaching No 1 in the US Radio Songs chart. Her debut album, Left Of The Middle, sold seven million copies worldwide and won her two Brit Awards, for International Newcomer and International Female Solo Artist. Since then, Imbruglia has released a further six albums and appeared in several films including Johnny English.

In her Letter to My Younger Self, Imbruglia recalls her early musical steps, the effect of fame and her decision to go public with her mental health struggles.

My main preoccupations when I was 16 were boys and dancing. I loved school, but I really loved my performing, so I was often at jazz class, or doing ballet class, or performing somewhere at the weekend, which was unusual for my circle of friends. I was a little bit different. I had a good time at school, but I knew what I wanted to do and what I wanted to be, and so very early on I decided I was going to try and pursue my career and leave school. But I didn’t leave until I started getting lots of auditions and then broke the news to my mum that I was dropping out of school. I think she was scared that if she pushed back, I might run away from home or something. But I got very lucky, and within six months I had been offered a job on Neighbours.

I was more confident then than I am now. When I was three I told my mum I wanted to be a hairdresser through the week and a star on the weekends. I remember a friend of mine saying when I moved to Melbourne that I just knew it was going to happen for me. It wasn’t ego, it was just like – this is my destiny. So I didn’t really question anything, and I don’t know if that means that I manifested it or which way around that goes. But I think
I suffered from the school of hard knocks. Once I started working and then had a fall from a high place, had things go wrong in my career, that’s when things got harder, or my confidence got knocked. I happen to be in a really good place right now, but I’ve never been as confident again as I was as a kid. 

When I got the job on Neighbours I was 16 and a half. I was out of the family home and earning money and living the life of my dreams, so it was very exciting. My character was a builder’s labourer, or, as we say in Australia, a brickie, which meant lots of flannelette shirts and dungarees, so I was quite comfortable. But eventually I think she moved to Perth, which is like death on Neighbours, isn’t it? You either get pregnant and have a baby or move to Perth.  

I’d sung before Neighbours as a kid, but in my head it was just a bit cheesy, and I wanted to be a serious actress. So I kind of went through a period where I didn’t think it was cool to do all of that, to be a triple threat and do singing, dancing and acting. So it wasn’t until I left Neighbours that I started singing seriously. I tried to get a manager, and I made some demo tapes, and I think I made a demo of Diamond in the Rough [originally by Shawn Colvin], which is quite grown-up for a 17-year-old. And obviously no one was interested, they were trying to put me in girl bands. So I took a break from it till I got to England. I think that I realised I was too young for the kind of music I wanted to do, so I needed to wait. 

I wanted to be an actress. I actually came over to England to pursue acting quite seriously. I did a panto to make money in Australia, and then I came and fell in love with England. And then I couldn’t get a visa, and then I ran out of money, and I was so terrified of having to go home with my tail between my legs. That’s when I was like, well, you do have other skill sets, why don’t you start writing songs? So it came out of necessity, I was back to something that I could do and that I really loved. 

Read more:

• How Neighbours changed the world
• Jason Donovan: ‘I enjoyed fame initially – until I left Neighbours’
• From Coldplay to COP26: Is a greener music industry possible?

When I was songwriting, I met a woman called Anne Barrett, who became my manager. She took me around to all these songwriters and really nurtured me at the start of my career and eventually got me some meetings where I got signed. But I didn’t really know what I was doing. I think I knew how to sing, and I had boundaries of what I would and wouldn’t do, because some of the songs were covers, but I was keen to learn. I was just lucky enough that I got to work with a producer, Phil Thornalley, who I absolutely adore, who nurtured those
skill sets in me and taught me a lot about vocal production and songwriting. I’m very lucky that I had someone that wasn’t exploitative. I’ve heard a lot of people have bad experiences, but mine was with someone that was respectful and celebrated me, my artistry, and was helping me to learn and grow.  

I thought people were going to throw tomatoes at me, because I’d been on Neighbours and a lot of people from Neighbours had gone into music, some successfully, some not, so it wasn’t necessarily a sure thing.If anything, if it went wrong, it could have been the end of my career. So I was nervous, but I had a kind of fighting spirit. Then Torn broke in America on K-Rock, and I followed that song around the world. [Having a worldwide hit] was amazing and terrifying all at once. Suddenly everyone is looking, almost everyone had an expectation of you. So it was a lot of pressure, but it also changed my life. 

I think what would surprise the younger me most was that becoming a star is not going to feel the way you think it’s going to feel. It’s not going to be the most important thing. It’s not going to bring you happiness, necessarily. Do you know what I mean? On its own. I thought it would feel a particular kind of a way. But the fame side of it is my least favourite part. I’m an observer. If I go to a restaurant, I like to watch everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I walk around with security, I don’t get hassled or anything, but I’m more comfortable being an observer rather than everyone looking at me. It’s just a little bit of a weird feeling when you can feel like heads turning. I thought I would like it but it doesn’t feel the way you think it’s going to feel. 

In terms of ageing, we’re all headed in the same direction. I made a decision very young, because people would comment on the way that I looked. I was like, you know what, I better not get used to any kind of compliments, because that’s going to make it really hard when you get older and the looks fall away. So very young I realised not to identify myself with any of those things, and it’s really helped me. I love ageing. I mean, I don’t love the aches and pains, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a lot of wisdom that comes with getting older. And you don’t give a shit about things that you did when you were younger, which is nice. 

I’ve talked very publicly about dealing with depression and melancholy. I think it’s a very common thing that artists have, and it’s also something that makes you an incredible songwriter. So, you can’t really have one without the other. I think sensitive people feel things a lot, but as an artist that puts you in touch with expressing how you feel and having an outlet. I’m just grateful that I’ve had an outlet for my sadness and my depression.  

I think my parents are really proud, but my parents aren’t showbiz parents. I’ve got three sisters, so it’s not
like I’m special compared to anyone else. I think they’re equally proud of all their daughters, and I really love
that about them. I just come home and have to pack the dishwasher like everyone else. 

If I could relive any time in my life… I’ve got two in my head. One would be in the eye of a storm on Necker Island. I was on Necker on holiday, and a hurricane came through, and I was in the eye, where it all goes quiet and still. It’s like you’ve got those Polaroid polarised glasses on, the light was really magical, and there were rainbows everywhere. And my other choice would be when I sang Torn at Wembley Stadium with Coldplay [in 2022]. It was a very generous invitation from them. So I had a big hug from the audience at Wembley. I’d happily stretch that moment out. 

Natalie Imbruglia’s new album Algorithm is out on 4 September 

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